"Dear"

'If it were mine, it would be chaos' it's not a defeat. it's clarity. Recognizing that not everything that feels powerful is actually good to hold onto. Some things are compelling precisely because they destabilize us. We don't need to fight the feeling or pretend it's not there. We can let it exist without obeying it. Observing it from a distance changes it. It becomes just a feeling, not a command.  So, I questioned my heart and mind: Is it really about him , or about how the feeling makes you feel? Does it bring you closer to myself, or further into confusion and pain? If I followed it fully, would you feel freer—or more trapped? This force dress in a man that I'm obsessed with who plays piano pretty well but keeps it to himself and not sharing it to the world. I can put it into a frame, and it sounds like this —magnetizing, hypnotic, tempting me into captivity—I'm well aware of the pull and  the cost. That awareness matters a lot.   Houdini is not...