Hey Now

Oct. 2, 2024

8:00 AM

I’m writing down my intentions. I woke up early, feeling in a state between being half-asleep and awake. I felt something touching my head and heard a strange noise. This is not new to me. I experience this when I'm tired or when something is happening in my life that signals a transition.

Anyway, the purpose of this writing is for disclosure. A lot has been happening in my life lately that has caught my attention, and I've noticed the repeating cycles of intrusive thoughts.

I’m tired of dealing with it. Or am I resisting negativity? There’s nothing wrong with it. It just is. It’s part of existence, and I can't deny this feeling. I can't hide it. All I can do is see it and move on. Understanding myself more deeply and diving into the depths of my life has helped me recognize patterns and behaviors. I might push myself too hard and be harsh with myself when I make mistakes or experience failure, but now I see, with deep understanding, that:

"Man suffers because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."
— Alan Watts

So, the question is:

What makes you feel alive?

This question feels like chasing the dopamine of rewards, or, in psychological terms, a variable reward. But with awareness, our behavior can connect us to our higher selves. By just being and doing what we can for self-improvement, we create new habits and fall in love with boredom. The only way to become excellent is to be endlessly fascinated by doing the same thing over and over. I know it sounds boring, of course, with the highs and lows of the emotional triad. Passion drives hard, but with the right formula and temperament, self-mastery and practice enhance our autonomy, helping us break through old patterns and enter the flow state.

To reach the flow state, it is an unending practice, as long as you live. Small goals lead to bigger ones, and we must not get bored with living life. From another perspective, it’s all about moving forward in life with aligned desires and calibration of your human experience. We all have dreams to achieve, but it doesn't matter what you’re trying to become better at. It’s just existence. Keep doing what you can right now, and you’ll be fine. Be present in every moment, show up, and don’t chase rewards too much. Give it 50/50 satisfaction. Not too hard, not too easy. Just right. “Sakto lang,” so it flows smoothly.

Consistency is key to sustaining your flow state. When you reach it, you simply ride the waves smoothly—without clinging, wanting, or chasing too much. Just being you, right here and now. That is self-mastery. It’s okay. You move forward, reconstructing yourself over and over again. I never get bored of it; it’s just a realization. Now, observing myself, I feel ease and am just fine.

I desire to be calm, and here we are now. It's been a journey since I started creating this. I sabotaged myself to feel just a little glimpse of calmness, serenity, solitude, and peace. It has peeled away all the layers of hatred, anger, judgment, insecurities, ambition, pride, and superiority complex. Now, I feel the openness of my heart, ready to step forward on life’s journey and discover the beautiful bright side of life without compromising my divine purity to any vampires. God is there. All those who cling to me, irritate me, mock me, or hate me, are waiting to be loved by me. I see God in them from a different perspective. They are the way I can open my heart and see and love God as I AM.

There is no need to hate myself anymore.

I move forward to love.

Walk and have no fear...

This solar eclipse, my intention is from my heart: To move forward and open myself to trust.

These are the words I release from my heart, words that were planted unconsciously through unfortunate experiences:

Now I release them to love:

• Betrayal
• Anger
• Ignorance
• Laziness
• Repetitive mistakes
• Harsh self-words
• Inconsiderateness
• Selfishness
• Self-blame
• Self-doubt
• Self-righteousness
• Shame
• Guilt
• Anxiety
• Dishonesty
• Ungratefulness
• Complaints
• Perfectionism
• Intrusive thoughts

Now, I release them to God, because God is Love. I transmute them into light.

I know deep down that I AM:

• Love
• Peaceful
• Easygoing
• Confident
• Empathetic
• Calm
• Trustworthy
• A good friend
• Helpful
• Friendly
• Patient
• Kind
• Beautiful
• Pure
• Worthy

Now, I dance and flow to life what will be 

no highs no lows just right here right now

with love, joy, peace and ease.

I AM